My last post was on wonderful things about being married. Marriage is indeed a beautiful and special thing, and I wouldn’t trade being married for anything! However, some (or many) of you reading this post may be in a season of singleness, or perhaps you are called to a life of singleness. God has created both singleness and marriage for special and unique purposes. Don’t spend your single life pining away for that someone that might be in your future. Instead, cherish and use this time God has given you. You have unique opportunities!
More Flexibility. This is the biggest advantage that single people have over married ones. The rest of the opportunities below are in some way partly because of this one. If you live alone (or even with a roommate or with your parents and family) you have much more flexibility than when you are married, and especially once you start having kids.
Sometimes single people get teased about this or are encouraged to be irresponsible, but having flexibility is a God-given gift. You can be busier and do more things, but actually feel less busy than those with families of their own. Do not use your singleness and flexibility simply for your own gain, but see how you can better live for Christ!
Better ability for service. Because you are more flexible, you are better able to serve others. Husbands, wives, and parents spend so much time serving one another and their children that it is sometimes difficult to have time and energy to serve others. Those who are unmarried may not automatically be drawn to serve because our culture encourages them to be self-centered, independent, and money driven. Even in churches, single people can be overlooked when looking for volunteers.
However, this ability for service is something God has given you at this time in your life. Perhaps you do not feel that you “have a heart for service.” Guess what? You can develop one! The best way to do this is by simply serving wherever you find opportunity. Pay attention to where there are areas you can help others at your church and in your community. There are many things you can do to help, from volunteering at an event, to mowing an elderly couple’s yard, to babysitting so parents can have a date night. Develop your heart of service and help others in the ways that God has gifted you.
More time for personal growth. Personal growth can get over emphasized in the secular world, so as often happens, it can get under-emphasized in the Christian world. Personal growth is not always a bad thing. In fact, it is often a good thing. The problem is when we become so self-centered and individualistic that we lose sight of God and the people around us.
But the truth is, when we take time to better our knowledge, wisdom, and skills, we can worship God better and we can serve and love people better. If you don’t know how to cook and never take time to learn, you might miss out on opportunities to bless others by making meals. If you want to learn an instrument or art, but feel it’s selfish to take time for it, you miss out on bringing certain beauty to others and to God’s glory. Expanding your mind by reading, researching, and studying God’s word and God’s world gives you more wisdom and knowledge, something that everyone can always use more of. Personal growth done for the right reasons is God glorifying.
More time to pursue interests and hobbies. This goes along with the last point, but if you never make time to explore your interests, it is hard to know what areas you want to grow in. Single people (especially those who are young) often have many opportunities to try new things. Don’t be afraid to try! Just because you decide to take music lessons or an art class or join a club team or take a new job doesn’t mean you are committing to that forever. There are benefits to having many interests, hobbies, and skills, though you will undoubtedly use some of them more or less. There is a time for everything and now is a great time for you to try new things.
Easier to build other relationships. Of course, it is important for everyone to build meaningful relationships with others and to constantly be strengthening our relationship with God. However, those who are married should prioritize their relationship with their spouse before other friendships and mentorships. Because unmarried people do not have that one relationship that they pour everything into, they can be more spread out and create strong bonds with more people.
This is not just about hanging out more with your best friends (though that is a good thing too) but also try to develop more meaningful relationships with more people. Older people, younger people, married people, other single people, Christians, non-Christians, those who see things differently than you, those who look, act, or function differently than you. All of us, whether single or married, should be better about this, but reaching out and getting together with or talking with someone will be easier now!
Now, during your single life is also a special opportunity to grow closer to God through prayer and study of His word. This is always your most important relationship, but in your singleness, you are not going to become distracted from your love of God by your love for your spouse. You can more easily fix your whole heart upon Him like all of us should.
Better ability to be on mission for Christ. Many of the things I have already mentioned encompass this, such as serving, bettering relationships, growing closer to God, and growing in wisdom, but those who are unmarried can be more focused and on mission for God. Married people are focused on God and His mission and together pursue it, but sometimes they can distract one another (though may it not be so!). If you are alone, in some ways you may be more afraid to talk to someone about Christ, stand up for what is right, or go somewhere dangerous on behalf of Him. But in other ways, you can be more bold because you do not have to be afraid for the safety or reputation of your husband, wife, or children. If you can overcome your own fear and pride through Christ, that is enough.
Be bold in Christ Jesus and do the right thing. God has called each person to live fully on mission for Him in unique ways. Take up the opportunities God has given you to live your life for Him!
“Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches… If you do marry, you have not sinned, and if a betrothed woman marries, she has not sinned. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that… I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:17, 28, 32-35)